Java (born 1974 B.C. as J Mummy Love) is a lover not a fighter, and
despite being dead, he has insatiable urge to get down. In fact, it is
rumored that he was not found buried alone, but rather awkwardly
intertwined amongst a harem. To regulate Java's libido, the other
mummies have resorted to keeping a George Bush doll in his pants at all
times.